drifting . . .
"You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden, even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of 'home' is gone. ... Just sorta happens one day, and its gone." --Garden State
Had a good long weekend at home overall....a bit of a feeling of displacement about it at times, though. Got to see friends & family, and spend a night downtown at Spadina house - always good times. I know the lingo, and they take care of me. And Thomas is cute, as always.
I was a little jealous of Cath when she left on Monday night to head back to Toronto - I wish that I had a place in Toronto to head back to. I miss being in the city, so much. And even if it doesn't feel exactly like 'home' anymore, I don't like having to drive for 2+ hours to get back to the familiar places, rather than being less than an hour away. Although at the moment my apartment is feeling kind of more like a 'home' base than my parents house, I don't like the geographic location of it. I've been tending to delay leaving Aurora to head back here, although when I'm leaving here on a Friday night, I'm out of town as fast as I can manage it. I don't like the travelling/driving aspect of it, the length of time that it takes .... although really, not that long in the grand scheme of things, just longer than I'm used to. Its a pretty drive at this time of the year, at least, with all of the autumnal colours. Overall, its an odd, disembodied feeling that I have with regards to where I live, and what I want to be doing (I have no clue).
Trying to make the best of things .... enjoying getting to know some of my classmates better, and commiserating with them about the piles of stuff we have to do. Although it seems that a lot of people did work over the weekend....I did none, and I didn't get back here until late Tuesday afternoon. Oops. And the fact that the latest in the adventures of Jamie & Claire have kept me riveted, with my attention less on other matters, such as oh, essays due tomorrow..... ;) Nothing new there.
In other news, I finally now have hot water in my kitchen sink.... a amenity that has so far been lacking. No more doing dishes in the bathtub! A nice thought to contemplate. When I left for class this morning, I left an apt with no electricity (hydro guys were doing something on the street with the wires...they had all the lights from the poles down on the ground, and were maybe replacing some of the poles), and minimal hot water.... so it was nice to return to both restored.
Hurry up and pass, October, November .... can't wait until December.
Had a good long weekend at home overall....a bit of a feeling of displacement about it at times, though. Got to see friends & family, and spend a night downtown at Spadina house - always good times. I know the lingo, and they take care of me. And Thomas is cute, as always.
I was a little jealous of Cath when she left on Monday night to head back to Toronto - I wish that I had a place in Toronto to head back to. I miss being in the city, so much. And even if it doesn't feel exactly like 'home' anymore, I don't like having to drive for 2+ hours to get back to the familiar places, rather than being less than an hour away. Although at the moment my apartment is feeling kind of more like a 'home' base than my parents house, I don't like the geographic location of it. I've been tending to delay leaving Aurora to head back here, although when I'm leaving here on a Friday night, I'm out of town as fast as I can manage it. I don't like the travelling/driving aspect of it, the length of time that it takes .... although really, not that long in the grand scheme of things, just longer than I'm used to. Its a pretty drive at this time of the year, at least, with all of the autumnal colours. Overall, its an odd, disembodied feeling that I have with regards to where I live, and what I want to be doing (I have no clue).
Trying to make the best of things .... enjoying getting to know some of my classmates better, and commiserating with them about the piles of stuff we have to do. Although it seems that a lot of people did work over the weekend....I did none, and I didn't get back here until late Tuesday afternoon. Oops. And the fact that the latest in the adventures of Jamie & Claire have kept me riveted, with my attention less on other matters, such as oh, essays due tomorrow..... ;) Nothing new there.
In other news, I finally now have hot water in my kitchen sink.... a amenity that has so far been lacking. No more doing dishes in the bathtub! A nice thought to contemplate. When I left for class this morning, I left an apt with no electricity (hydro guys were doing something on the street with the wires...they had all the lights from the poles down on the ground, and were maybe replacing some of the poles), and minimal hot water.... so it was nice to return to both restored.
Hurry up and pass, October, November .... can't wait until December.
posted by C at
9:22 PM
2 Comments:
I don't mean to bust in rudely onto your blog again. Well I suppose that's what I am doing. I'm the one who liked the way you described your clouds. It's just that I sympathise with your situation now. I'm at a university about four hours away from my hometown where my family and most of my friends are, and to where I gravitate. Having a couple of good friends where I am now has been crucial in making me feel 'at home'. But with this, what really justifies this distance from those I love is the feeling that what I'm doing - what I'm studying/teaching - is what I really should be doing. Without that I wouldn't be able to stay in orbit at a distance at all. Maybe this is a necessary step you've taken on the way to finding out what really is for you.
Also, some of my best essays were written at the last minute, distraction being an occupational hazard for keen minds! I wouldn't worry.
By
Stephen, at 10/13/2005 10:04 AM
Oh Collins.
I know how you feel about home suddenly being gone. And though I love our apartment here in 666, it just doesn't feel like *home* to me.
"Cheer up child. It'll turn out all right in the end. You'll see."
- Mrs Potts
- spart
By
kjane, at 10/14/2005 9:05 AM
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